My Story About Weight and Struggle

I’ve struggled to keep my weight down since before I can remember. As soon as I could drive, my sister and I would go to the gym to take aerobics classes and lift weights. I liked feeling strong, but never felt like I was thin enough.

As an adult, I used to teach several exercise classes a week and go on long runs in the morning.

My disability came in 2008. After I had my beautiful baby boy in 2009, I was ready to get trim again. The problem? I could no longer do what I used to do to manage my weight. With my disability, I could not eat the same way I used to, and I couldn’t exercise the same way I used to do.

Now making meals was a big deal. It took a lot of energy and strength that I didn’t have. Going to the grocery store was an ordeal all by itself, let alone putting the groceries away and then preparing a meal later that same day. I reached for convenience foods because it was easier.

I struggled to keep working, be part of a family, and take care of myself. I put all my energy into getting better. I tried surgery, naturopaths, medical doctors, physical therapy, and many more things.

Food provided comfort and pleasure. I was angry with my own body for falling apart and for not getting better. I blamed myself for not knowing how to fix my disability. Food didn’t require anything of me except to enjoy it. And I did. That mindset lead to steady weight gain, about 7 pounds per year to be exact. 

I decided things needed to change, and I started going to the gym to exercise again. I felt conspicuous and out of place, but pushed through the discomfort. Music and exercise made me feel better. The two gyms I went to for years had their exercise rooms upstairs. My friends carried me up the stairs so I could do Zumba. It was rough, but I felt the happiness that dancing brings my soul. 

It took 30 minutes to drive to the gym, 15 minutes to get from my car, carried up the stairs, and to the classroom, and the same amount of time to get back home. 1.5 hours spent traveling and getting to the class, and 1 hour exercising for a total of 2.5 hours per day just to exercise for 1 hour. 

During the pandemic, when everything shut down, I found my love for virtual exercising. 

One thing I love about virtual Zumba classes? Zero drive time! Zero time spent parking or traveling, I don’t need assistance getting to the classroom, and a big bonus, my own bathroom which is always accessible!!!

I’m not at the weight I dream to be, but I feel better in my body. I can exercise for several hours a day, which shows my fitness level is way improved. I have strength to reach for things in the highest cupboards, push me and my chair up and down ramps, and I’m feeling strong. Nutritionally, I’ve made changes to make meal prep easier. I’ll share more on that in another post.

My point? I know I’ve improved my health from where it used to be and lowered my risks for other major problems. I want to share the things I’ve learned with you. Change starts on the inside. We cannot control so many things, but we can focus on the parts we can influence. That’s my new motto. Focus on what I have influence over.